


You better kiss me, Before our time is run out

by daydream_jjh



Category: NCT (Band)
Genre: Anxiety, Boys Kissing, Crying, Everyone is just mentioned - Freeform, Kissing, Late Night Conversations, M/M, donghyuck kinda stole a car but not really?, its just pure markhyuck, mark is sweet
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-07-18
Updated: 2019-07-18
Packaged: 2020-06-30 11:08:06
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,597
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19851901
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/daydream_jjh/pseuds/daydream_jjh
Summary: Mark can feel the heartbeats of his friends even in a city filled with thousands of people. But the city belonged to Donghyuck, the city breathes Lee Donghyuck. His smile is the sunshine that beats down across the city to the beaches, his laugh is the pulling and pushing of the tides. He’s fucking everywhere. He’s in the cool night breeze, in the waves that crash against the sand, in the rich warmth of the coffee shops lining the streets. To Mark, Donghyuck is everything he’s ever known, everything he’s ever wanted, everything he’s ever called home.In which Mark can't imagine himself without Donghyuck.





	You better kiss me, Before our time is run out

**Author's Note:**

> title from XO by Beyonce and I recommend you listen to it because I had this on repeat for about 3 hours whilst trying to make this happen.

The rattling sound against Mark’s window woke him from his slumber. Part of his brain was convinced it was the wind and the other half was telling him it was his next-door neighbour’s, Mrs Porter, cat truffle banging at the window. And then Mark realised it was the middle of a hot July and Mrs Porter’s cat couldn’t climb trees because it was far too fat and old. That was when Mark sat upright in bed and looked hesitantly towards his window, almost scared to find out who or what was waiting for him there. 

Instead of a masked robber trying to break in and steal his stuff, which admittedly wasn’t all that valuable, he saw his best friend Donghyuck sat at the window, clad in a baby blue hoodie and his favourite white jean shorts. Mark loved those shorts, mainly because there was a bright pink paint stain from that time Renjun had accidentally spilt his paint on Donghyuck. Mark smiled at that memory because unlike most people who would have complained at having their favourite white Levi shorts ruined, Donghyuck apologised to Renjun and bought him more paint. He glanced at the clock, seeing the little digits say 01:27. He sighed with a smile and pushed the sheets of his too warm body, padding over to the window and opening it properly, letting the younger boy into his bedroom.

“You know, normal people are usually asleep at this time.” Mark sighed as his best friend eased into the room and ignored his statement. Instead, he opted to stick his pink tongue out at Mark and walk to the door of his closet. The younger boy flicked on the lamp in Mark’s and opened the closet wide, pulling out a pair of clean jeans, looking through the rest of Mark’s messy wardrobe for a clean t-shirt and hoodie. “Or they at least use the front door.” Mark huffed into the silence between them, opting to sit back down on his bed. Mark was entirely unphased by his best friend and his antics. After fifteen years of it, Mark had become more than accustomed to the more outlandish behaviour and wild ideas Donghyuck dragged him into. At this point people knew if Donghyuck was midway through some hairbrained scheme, then Mark was usually not too far behind. ‘Best friends don’t let each other do stupid things alone’ he had once told his older brother Taeyong when asked why he went along with it. 

“I would’ve, but I forgot my key,” Donghyuck stated with a dramatic roll of his eyes, turning to face Mark. “Plus, I didn’t want to wake up your parents. Or Taeyong.” He smiled, throwing the clothes he had picked out at Mark who looked up at him quizzically. “Get dressed loser, we’re going on an adventure.” He grinned, eyebrows wiggling and teeth sparkling in the dim light of his bedroom. Donghyuck eyed his pyjama shorts and lack of shirt quickly, Mark thought he saw the youngers eyes linger on the exposed skin for a moment before he rolled his eyes and headed out of Marks bedroom, leaving him alone to get changed. Mark smiled but ultimately changed into the outfit he had picked, nothing particularly special or fashionable, grabbing a pair of clean socks and his vans from the corner of his room and slipping them on his feet. 

The more that Mark thought about it, the surer he was of the fact that he would always go along with Donghyuck and his plans. Mark made the mental presumption that it was because the stupid adventures Donghyuck dragged him into were usually the most exciting things that he did. It also helped that he loved him, and just wanted to see Donghyuck smile. Mark always knew he loved Donghyuck, he just wasn’t entirely sure how he loved him. So, Mark waited patiently for him to come back, smiling brightly when the boy in question came back into his room, clutching an armful of snacks, no doubt stolen from Mark’s kitchen.

“What adventure is this exactly?” Mark asked, partly curious because he always had fun with Donghyuck, it was half the reason they were still best friends after all of these years. The other part of him was asking so that he knew how much trouble they’d be in after. Mark remembers the last adventure they went on with the rest of their friends, stealing Donghyucks’s older brother Johnny’s car and driving to a beach in Malibu because he was bored and the sun was shining. They got in heaps of trouble that day because their parents thought they’d been kidnapped; Mark was more surprised they hadn’t been pulled over by the police for cramming seven people in a 5-seater, but he supposes that was part of Donghyuck’s never-ending luck. 

The weirdest part about it all was that despite all the hairbrained schemes and spontaneous adventures he dragged Mark on, his parents still wholly adored Donghyuck. Even Mark’s older brother had a soft spot for him too, saying he was right for Mark, perfect for him even. Mark supposes that was true, he did stop him from being so serious all the time. Donghyuck gave him a life outside of studying and books, he showed him places outside of the four walls that made his bedroom. He was the one who would drag Mark out of his room to a house party on a Friday night, or go skateboarding with him in the middle of a Sunday afternoon. All of Mark’s fondest memories include his big bright eyes and two perfect rows of teeth stretching into his smile.

“Well…My parents are out of town, and I don’t know where Johnny is, so we’re borrowing the car to go for a night drive. I found a place I want to show you before you...yeah” Donghyuck finished quietly. 

Ah. There it was. 

Mark knew what that meant. Mark was moving away for College. After years of being a high achiever, whether that was natural intelligence or diligence to his studies, Mark had managed to secure his 4.0 GPA and landed himself an acceptance letter from Harvard, classes starting in the fall. His parents had been overjoyed, their eldest son Lee Taeyong attending Julliard in New York on a dance scholarship and now their youngest son was just academically impressive. Mark had always felt pressure to be perfect, to excel at whatever he chose to do. Whenever his anxiety spiked with fear of failure, of imperfection, Donghyuck would take his face between his hands and tell him he was perfect no matter what. But Mark was moving to the other side of the States, away from all his friends and family. Away from Donghyuck for god knows how long.

Thus, why Mark climbed out of his window at 1:42am and hopped into the passenger seat in Donghyuck’s father’s vintage red mustang. “Should you really be stealing this car out of all of them?” Mark asked, buckling his seatbelt and looking at the side of his best friends’ face, knowing the half smile he was wearing was faked to mask his sadness that these secret escapades as a duo were coming to a close. Mark knew that Mr Seo had a penchant for beautiful cars, and Donghyuck had a penchant for driving them without permission. 

“He doesn’t care and, even if he did, I don’t.” Donghyuck huffed indignantly, putting the car into gear and readying himself to drive, “Plus it’s not really stealing if I’m giving it back, really we’re just borrowing it.” Donghyuck giggled, slotting another homemade CD into the disc drive and backing out of the driveway. 

Mark took the time to appreciate his best friends’ profile in the moonlight. His eyes were deep set, framed by long black lashes that fanned out prettily every time he blinked. Mark always loved his eyes’; they weren’t merely brown. They had flecks of amber an onyx, bits of gold like the necklace he always wore. Donghyuck’s eyes held the weight of the sky in them. He had a pretty nose, the same one as his older brother Johnny, and it rests above plump pink lips that hid perfectly white teeth. Currently, his hair was dyed a silver grey, something he surprised Mark and the rest of their friends with when he turned up to school with grey hair. Mark vaguely knew Ten, one of Johnny’s best friends, had convinced Donghyuck to do it and he thanked him infinitely. It suited his skin, the cool silver contrasting his warm golden skin. 

“Stop staring at me, you loser.” Donghyuck laughed, pinching the meatier part of Marks' bicep. Mark laughed, slapping his hand away from him. “So…how’s the packing going?” Donghyuck asked tentatively. He had noticed the steadily growing pile of boxes in Mark’s bedroom. He had gone to the park with Jeno and Jaemin a couple of days earlier, and they were talking about how Mark had started giving them things he wasn’t planning on taking with him to College. He had also seen countless catalogues for furniture on Mark’s desk, his way of choosing new room décor for his dorm. 

“I guess I haven’t really started…I know what I need to take, but I’m not sure what else I should actually bring.” Mark hummed. He wound the window down and felt the breeze against his face, looking up at the dark sky. He always wished he could see the stars from the city, but the pollution of LA meant that it was hidden among the skyscrapers, the sky nothing more than a dark blanket stretched out above him. Hence why Donghyuck would drag him out on night drives to less populated areas of Malibu just so he could see the stars for a little while.

Mark remembers when he first fell in love with the sky and stars. It was on a school trip the Griffith Park Observatory when he was seven. He remembers the way his glasses would slip down his nose and Donghyuck would push them up with one of his chubby little hands. Mark’s parents had a picture of the two of them from that trip attached to the fridge in the kitchen with a star magnet. Mark wanted to take that picture with him, the two of them so young. Chubby cheeks with big smiles, the excessively-smart uniform of their private elementary school contrasted with the scrapes and bruises on their knees. Mark remembers being afraid of the dark at that age, having always slept with a nightlight until that point. When the lights first went down in the observatory auditorium for the show, Mark remembers being afraid, his breathing picking up a little. But then Donghyuck was holding his hand and telling him that soon he’d have thousands of stars shining for him, to stop it being so dark and scary, and suddenly it wasn’t so bad. Mark stopped using his nightlight a few weeks after that, he figured if Donghyuck wasn’t scared, then he didn’t need to be right? The stars were shining for him, that’s what he had said. 

Donghyuck didn’t push much after that, letting the music playing in the car take over. The conversation has come to a halt, dying with the unspoken truth between them. Mark’s not packing and planning because he doesn’t want to go. He doesn’t want to leave. The city is the place he’s called home for all of his life. This place is everything he’s known. Mark watches his childhood go past from the passenger side of the car. He can her Chenle’s voice as it bleeds out of the music store he loves, singing everything from The Beatles to Justin Bieber. He can see the wonder in Renjun’s eyes when they pass his favourite gallery, staring up at the artwork and drinking it in. Mark see’s Jisung’s shadows on the wall as he performs bike tricks when they hang out after school, can see his nose scrunch up when he doesn’t quite achieve the trick. He can feel Jeno and Jaemin’s competitive energy as they pass the park in which they have their soccer games, counting goals and learning tricks under Yuta’s watchful eye. Yukhei’s shadow is hunched in the corner of his favourite coffee shop, nose in a book and eyes focused on the words, one of the few times the vivacious boy was quiet. Mark could feel the heartbeats and lives of his friends in a city filled with thousands of people. But the city belonged to Donghyuck, the city breathes Lee Donghyuck. His smile is the sunshine that beats down across the city to the beaches, his laugh is the pulling and pushing of the tides. He’s fucking everywhere. He’s in the cool night breeze, in the waves that crash against the sand, in the rich warmth of the coffee shops lining the streets. To Mark, Donghyuck is everything he’s ever known, everything he’s ever wanted, everything he’s ever called home. Mark couldn’t imagine himself without Donghyuck.

At some point, Mark must have zoned out, because he suddenly realises where he is, and the car isn’t moving, and Donghyuck’s holding his hand, thumb softly stroking the back of his hand absent-minded. Mark turns his head a little and looks up at the younger boy. He’s singing softly to the song playing from the CD drive, looking up at the stars in the sky. Mark can faintly hear the ocean crashing against the shore, and he feels safe here. Mark wants to freeze this moment, lock it up and keep it safe forever so he can come back whenever he wants to. Mark can feel something tug in his chest at the way Donghyuck looks right now. He’s pulled in, sucked into the depths of his beauty, and Mark’s hooked on how soft Donghyuck’s voice is from where he’s singing along to some song her and Renjun love. Mark vaguely remembers them singing it to each other in Mark’s backyard, maths homework discarded on the patio deck as they dance on the grass.

The song comes to a close, and he inhales and exhales slowly, the same way he does when he’s coaching Mark through a panic attack, measured and deep and careful. Mark briefly wonders why he’d be doing those breathing exercises when it’s just them, in a car, doing the same thing they’ve done a thousand times before. But the thought doesn’t have a chance to take root and blossom because Donghyuck looks over at him and he grins. “Hey, idiot. C’mon lets’ look at the stars properly.” He coos softly, squeezing marks hand in his before tearing it away from him to reach into the backseat. Mark hadn’t even realised he’d stashed a duffel bag with snacks and blankets and even one of Johnny’s old cameras that he’d given him to capture all his memories on while Johnny was away at College. Mark supposes he hadn’t realised a lot of things.

They sit atop the car, on the soft blue blanket that had always been on Donghyuck’s bed ever since they became friends all those years ago. It had hundreds of little cartoon yellow stars on it, more than fitting for the current adventure they were on. It was quiet, Mark was watching the sky, and Donghyuck was watching the ocean. Mark thought that summarised them pretty well, Mark always had his head stuck in the clouds, so he didn’t have to think about his real life and Donghyuck, always looking out to the horizon to find what was next, always wanting to go further and see more. “I’m going to miss you,” Mark whispered quietly, feeling something in him break. He’d been doing this with Donghyuck for as long as he could remember, and now he had to go away, he had to leave him behind. From the age of three, it had always been Mark and Donghyuck, rarely apart by choice. And even when they were separated, they’d message or call or facetime, so they didn’t have to miss each other too terribly.

Donghyuck softened, his gaze breaking from where it was fixed on the reflection of the moon on the ocean. “We’ll be okay, Mark. I promise.” He promised, reaching over to hold Mark’s hand, playing with his fingers gently. Mark had never enjoyed skinship, always pushing Jaemin off him when he tried to smother him with kisses to the cheek or hugs that pushed all the air out of his body. But with Donghyuck, he didn’t mind. It felt almost natural the way his hand slotted into his, warm hands meeting cooler ones. Donghyuck never complained when the rough patches of Mark’s hands would rub against his, smiling instead, knowing they were there from sport or from Mark’s excessive playing of his guitar. In the same way, Mark would always gently trace the cuts on Donghyuck’s hand from skateboarding or surfing accidents. 

Mark’s voice wavered as he spoke, almost as if his body wanted him to breakdown and cry, to purge of this pent-up anxiety about going to College, about chasing a dream he wasn’t sure he had ever actually dreamed. Thoughts of ‘is this really what I want for my life’ plagued his brain every single day, and the only time those thoughts ceased was when he was with Donghyuck. “But who’s going to tell me when I'm stupid? Or coach me out of a panic attack? Who’s going to drag me out of my room when I’ve spent four days straight studying? Or-" Marks breathing coming out short and laboured and his wide eyes fogging with tears.

Donghyuck turned his whole body towards him, his bare thigh touching Marks and he swore it burnt where they met, Donghyuck’s free hand coming to rest at his jaw and his sparkling eyes staring straight into his. “Mark, you’ll be okay.” He said with such conviction that Mark wanted to believe him, but he knew he wouldn’t be. He depended on the younger boy to balance him out, to make him a full human instead of an overworked robot. 

Mark shook his head a little, “Hyuck, I don’t know how to be me without you.” He admitted, feeling something inside him deflate as Donghyuck pulled him into his chest, their legs tangling together in the process. Mark breathed in deeply and inhaled Donghyuck’s scent. He smelt like a mix of things; laundry detergent, a perfume that was somewhere between vanilla and floral, coconut shampoo and the clean smell of surf spray. Mark had always associated this blend of scents with Donghyuck, with safety. Mark could hear him mumbling an old lullaby into his hair, his way of telling him he indeed would be fine. He’d only be a phone call away.

Enough time passed that they pulled away from the deep embrace, Donghyuck’s legs resting over Marks and his hands playing with the laces of his converse. The comfortable silence they were in was broken as Donghyuck spoke softly “Hey Mark. Can I ask you something?” his voice was small, almost hesitant.

Mark stopped fiddling with Donghyuck's laces, resting a hand on his ankle and looking up at the younger boy. “Sure.” He encouraged, looking at Donghyuck’s face in the light of the moon and smiling softly. He was beautiful, and Mark was the luckiest person on earth because he got to see Donghyuck like this.

Donghyuck sighed deeply and hunched over a little, “I’m thinking of taking a year out before I go to college,” He began before biting at his lips nervously, “if I ever go to college.” He added at the end. 

Mark was a little taken back at his admission. But then again, when had Donghyuck ever been predictable. “Oh. Why is that?” he asked, surprised that this particular adventure seemed to be opening up the underlying secrets that they were hiding from each other.

“I’m not really sure I know what I want to do with my life. Well, at least not yet.” 

Well, Mark supposes that’s fair. Everyone around them seemed to have their ‘thing’, the hobby or talent that defined their career and made their goals achievable. Except for Donghyuck. Mark couldn’t ever recall his best friend ever talking about what he wanted to do with his life, or what he wanted to study. Hell, Mark doesn’t even remember him taking any of the college catalogues at the fairs they went to, instead just taking the candy and free pens with a bright eyes and an even brighter smile. 

But Donghyuck was smart, and artistic, beautiful and funny, and Mark knows he could and would be successful at whatever he chooses, once he chooses. Jeno would make jokes about him running away and living by the beach eating mango and surfing the days away. Donghyuck would brush those off and say that wasn’t real life. Mark thinks of Donghyuck’s older brother Johnny, who had gotten into Yale on an art scholarship, mainly because his portfolio was impeccable. Mark remembers how Johnny had used Taeyong and Donghyuck and some of their other friends as models, capturing how ethereal and beautiful they were. Mark thinks part of him fell in love with Donghyuck after seeing the photos oh him in that portfolio. Part of Mark believes he’s always been in love with Donghyuck.

But Donghyuck had only ever been interested in going on adventures and getting through school- he excelled in classes because he was just naturally smart. Mark hadn’t really noticed it before, so caught up in his own existence that he never really managed to take notice that his best friend, the person he loved more than anything, had no direction for their future.

“Well, what would you do instead?” Mark pushed, wondering what his plan was. 

“I think, well I mean, I think I want to travel. See the world, have great adventures and live a little before I put myself through three boring years of College.” Donghyuck smiled bashfully, cheeks tinting as he picked at a scab on his shin.

“I mean if you want to then sure. Where would you go?” Mark could feel a little wave of anxiety bubble within him at the thought of Donghyuck travelling the globe, not being able to communicate with him all the time.

“I’d visit my grandma back home, maybe spend some time in China or Japan, or go backpacking in Thailand. Or I could spend some time in Australia, surf on the east coast for a bit and do conservation work. Or Europe, that could be cool. They have such cool art and food, and I know Renjun would love me even more if I brought him back art shit from all the different galleries across Europe. Obviously, I’d bring you back- “Donghyuck paused when he finally looked up at Mark, the bright spark of excitement dying in his eyes when he caught the shining tears rolling down his face. “Mark, why are you crying?” He asked softly, his thumb brushing the tears off of Mark’s face.

“I just,” Mark hiccupped, “I’m already going to be so far from you, I don’t want you to go any further.” He managed through shaky breaths. He was moving to the other side of the US in August. Mark wasn’t ready to be 5 and a half hours away by plane, 44 hours away by car. Let alone being on the other side of the world from his best friend. The thought of Donghyuck not even having a good enough cell reception to say good morning or goodnight, or be able to just call Mark and tell him about how he got a delicious milkshake or the shitty driver he almost fought with on the highway. That thought really killed him inside.

Donghyuck’s heart broke at the terrified look in his best friends’ eyes. “Mark, this isn’t forever. And I’ll always come right home.” He assured him, knowing that if Mark ever needed him, or something happened to Mark, he would drop everything and hightail it home to him.

“But I’m going to be in Massachusetts for most of the year, I won’t even be home.” Mark sighed almost exasperatedly. He couldn’t understand how Donghyuck was so chill about all of this.

“Mark, you’re so stupid. You’re my home. Wherever you are, that feels like home to me.” 

“Oh.”

“Yeah.”

“Donghyuck, I love you.”

“I love you too, Mark.”

That’s when Mark sees Donghyuck’s gaze flicking to his lips. Hesitantly he shuffles closer, his hand sliding from where it was resting on Donghyuck’s ankle to tracing his thigh delicately. He could see that glint in the younger’s eyes, not the mischievous glint he usually wears but the more sincere and warm glow that only Mark ever sees. The one that lets a shred of vulnerability shine through. Mark barely has time to breathe before Donghyuck’s legs are moving, gently placing his knees either side of Mark’s waist and hovering above him. Neither of them tries speaking, not sure if they should. Mark can’t take his eyes off Donghyuck’s face, entranced by the way he looks above him with this gentle white light casting stark shadows across his face. He looks like something out of a magazine, or a movie, just not entirely real, and Mark doesn’t know how he got here. 

Marks' hands rest on Donghyuck’s hips, gently pulling him to sit on his lap properly, fingers creeping under his hoodie and resting on the bare skin of his hip, just above the waistband of his shorts. Donghyuck’s hands shaking as they reach for Mark’s shoulders and slide up the sides of his neck, feeling the soft warmth of his skin and the pulsing of blood through his veins, stopping in their tracks when they cup his jaw gently. Their faces are close, close enough that Mark can feel his breath on his face. 

“You’re shaking.”

“I know.”

Marks nose bumps Donghyuck’s, and that’s all it takes for them to press their lips together, barely brushing against one another at first before pressing lightly together. Mark could smell the coconut shampoo, could taste the raspberry lip balm. Donghyuck’s hands are gripping tighter at his jaw, and Mark’s pressing his fingertips into the flesh of Donghyuck's hips more insistently. It doesn’t feel like fireworks or explosions. It feels safe, like when the world gets too loud and then suddenly quietens. It feels natural as if Mark is always supposed to be kissing Donghyuck.

“You taste like raspberries, Hyuckie.” Mark whispers against Donghyuck’s lips, barely pulling away from the younger.

“Shut up Mark Lee.” He whispers back with a giggle, pressing their lips together again, sighing and letting one hand leave his jaw and rest at the nape of his neck, playing with the black hair that sits there. It gets a little easier when Mark coaxes Donghyuck’s mouth open, tongue gently licking across the seam of the youngers lips until it can slip past and into his mouth. It’s sweet, relaxed and Mark stops thinking properly, pulling Donghyuck closer to him, relishing in the way that he lets out a surprised yet pleased noise, tugging gently at his bottom lip and smiling into the kiss. They kiss for a while; the only sounds are the puffs of air from their noses and the ocean waves lapping at the shore. Mark pulls away after a little while to look up at Donghyuck.

“I really do love you, Lee Donghyuck.”

“I really do love you too, Mark Lee.”

**Author's Note:**

> thank you to my tumblebug, she helped me actually finish this and bother to post it.


End file.
